"Always remember the mountains and valleys that got you here"
I'd like to start off this post by putting a few things out in the open. There have been significant events in my life this past year that have pushed me, shattered me, deflated me, and empowered me. It has been an ongoing journey- one that I am still trying to figure out how to comprehend. I have been quiet, not knowing how to find my voice in such a time of despair.
What a year it has been. A heart-wrenching, emotion filled, creativity-deflating year.
You may be confused.
Landing on this website, it's clear that I am here to uplift and bring positivity. "Every day is a gift" I say! Travel, explore, love the world around you! Yes, those are things that bring meaning to my life. After living abroad for three years, I felt energized. I left Thailand in June of last year completely inspired. Those years changed me.
Although I think it's impossible to be fully prepared for some things in life, I think those years may have helped prepare me for this year in even the smallest of ways.
A year and a half ago, my brother was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer. This past February, we lost him. This process has been life shattering. For me, personally, I felt it slowly deflating any motivation. It's as if someone (by the name of Grief, perhaps), walked in the front door uninvited and started popping all of my creative dreams and ambitions one by one with a long pointy pin. Even if I tucked away an idea "for later", Grief would find it and suck all the life out of it. It sucked. All I could do was put my hands in the air and say, "you win, Grief".
Two weeks ago, Zack and I went on a trip. We went to Puerto Rico, rented a car, and freely roamed the island. We explored, we relaxed, we mingled, and it was awesome. It was there that I picked up my camera for the first time in many months. I started to take photos for the pure joy of it, I started journaling and dreaming about things I wanted to do this summer, fall, and beyond. It was a breath of fresh air.
I am hoping this blog will help me find my voice again. I really do have so much to share! It may be raw and vulnerable, but it's something I know I need to do. My artwork reflects my life journey, and I hope my photography can be much more than just a pretty picture.
Thank you for following along!